Ponchatoula candy goes big time

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. LL and I agreed to take a minimalist approach to the whole thing this year; mostly because we have two mondo weddings coming up (LL's sister and her old roommate -- who currently boasts a 2:1 margin over me in terms of LL-cohabitation time). Since neither of them would oblige us and have their weddings in SF, we are left single-handedly giving the airline industry its first profitable quarter since 1916. Actually, we've been getting really good deals on the flights because LL watches airfares like a hawk (If she and I ever separately made identical vacation plans, she would manage to save an easy 30% compared to me).

But anyway, we figured we didn't need to go overboard on Valentine's Day, so we just went to a low-key dinner in Palo Alto. It also sneaked up on me a bit this year. For some reason, I kept thinking it was still a week away in the fuzzy future somewhere, which is surprising because I remembered that the carton of milk we have in the fridge was going bad on the 14th, and I knew that was yesterday, yet nothing triggered my Val-alarm (please, no making fun of my priorities). Finally yesterday when I did my first Google search of the day, I saw the Valentine's motif and thought, "Ooooohhh, the milk's going bad on Valentine's Day."

After dinner we wanted to get a box of chocolate and some wine at the drug store near the restaurant (seemed like a good idea at the time). At first we wanted Russell Stovers because we'd been making fun of their commercials in which they make a big point about looking for the R.S. box with the distinctive bow...like they don't think guys are smart enough to remember the brand name (Personally, I would have benefited more had they said Valentines day is Thursday repeatedly). We quickly found the R.S. boxes (with requisite bow), and I was all set to buy that when LL saw another box shaped like a heart...

LL: "Maybe we should get this tacky box shaped like a heart."
Clay: "It doesn't have a bow on it."
LL: "It's made by Elmers. Don't they make glue?"
Clay: "Elmers!? Elmers is made in Ponchatoula! Are you sure it says Elmers?"
LL: "Yes"
Clay: (takes the Elmers box and reads the back) "Holy crap. It says 'made in Ponchatoula, LA.' We have to get this one."
LL: "Are you sure? It doesn't have a bow..."


So here's what we got home with. The front of the box says, "For a special person." Awesome. You can laugh (we did), but in some sense, I want to applaud this effort because they avoided the overspecification pitfall of greeting cards (e.g. when you find the "perfect" birthday card for your cousin, except that on the inside it says "Congratulations, Grandson!" This drives me nuts for two reasons: First, I don't know why on earth they want to limit their potential purchasers to people with a grandson who deserves congratulating. Second, even if it said "Happy Birthday, Cousin," and thus was precisely correct, I'd still be aggravated because that's what I was going to write, and now I have to think of something different like "You sure are a swell guy" or whatever).


And here's proof that Elmers is indeed from Ponchatoula. I also covered up all the Nutrition Facts to protect the innocence of those mentioned in this post.